DeathxTears
by Xion2010
Summary: Can't tell you much but... Killua's a stubborn mess, Gon's in the hospital, Leorio's constantly drunk and Kurapika thinks its all his fault.
1. Chapter 1

**DeathxTears**

Rating: T (For Cussing and Character Death)

Xion: Hiiii! I'm Xion and this is the_ First_ chapter to my _First_ Story!

Killua: No one cares T_T

Xion: Mean... TT-TT

Gon: Pleeassse don't flame ~Insert Gon puppy face~ And... Please R&R :D

Killua: Oh and she doesn't Own Hunter x Hunter. If she did she would have written this.

"Speech"

'Thought'

**DeathxTears**

"Please no... Please no... Don't leave me here alone!" Kurapika longed to see those sparkling emerald eyes again. Tears slid nonchalantly down the blond boys cheeks as he shook the cold person in his arms. Kurapika's eyes danced in scarlet flames. He would _not_ accept this. "Open your eyes! Damnit!" He screamed from the side of the warehouse where he had found his friend. It echoed through the walls, bringing the white haired ex-assassin running.

"Kurapika did you fi-..." Killua looked down in dread. He only stood in horrified silence. "Oh my fucking-..." He couldn't bring himself to finish his sentence before collapsing on his knees before the bloodied remains. "And right after..." tears started to form in his sea blue eyes. The white haired boy wiped his face multiple times to keep from letting the Kurta member see his weakness. Kurapika set down the battered body and helped up Killua. Killua shrugged off his hand and stormed out of the warehouse. Kurapika sat next to the body and waited for a long time.

'He's been gone for a while...' Kurapika though nonchalantly while wiping some dust off the cold face with his thumb. His eyes had ceased to be scarlet. His storm grey eyes now puffy and red and his voice soar and cracked all from crying.

Killua dropped the organ on the ground beside him and wiped some access blood off his cheek, this only resulting in smearing more on his face. A thug collapsed behind him as lightning lit up the sky. A girl stares aghast as a certain white haired (ex) assassin walked down the street away from the now metallic smelling alley. His hands in his pockets killua sneered at the thought of what is going to happen to whoever did this. Such a thought caused killua to unconsciously darken his hatsu. "Tch you stupid... stupid... idiot." Killua looked up to the stormy sky. His tears mixed in with the falling rain.

People avoided the child as he walked into the hotel shared between the four of them. Killua slammed open the door, successfully cracking the frame and the dry wall behind the door. Leorio jumped from the sudden noise breaking his intoxicated silence.

"Did you find him?" Leorio jumped up but stumbles using the edge of the couch as leverage. It took a second to register that Kurapika wasn't with him and that the child was in fact covered in blood. The worst thoughts entered the pre-doctor's head. "Oh my god did you..?" Leorio backed up slowly knowing that his friend was extremely dangerous when mad.

"We don't know for sure but we think he's dead." Killua said looking at Leorio sadly. Behind those calm blue eyes a storm was approaching, a big one. Killua walked into the shared bedroom. The drunken man heard a sharp click. Leorio went to grab his coat and rush out the door. His head was busy buzzing with one million and one questions. Footsteps approaching the damaged door were unheard by the mentally occupied drunk doctor. Leorio almost rammed into Kurapika while walking out the door.

"Where's killua? Has he come back yet?" Kurapika asked setting down the body and rushing towards the phone in the kitchenette of the hotel suite. Soft sobs from the room next to them answered Kurapika's question. Leorio sighed and knelt shakily bringing his ear to the boy's chest. A light heart beat was heard every seven seconds or so.

"Kurapika we're gonna need that phone call... NOW!" Leorio did every method he could until sirens were heard.

Killua looked up at the ceiling tears already soaking his pillows and an occasional sob breaking his peace. He really didn't have peace but was lulled to sleep by thought of all the scars and smiles. Meanwhile the sounds of sirens greeted his ears.

End of Chapter 1


	2. Chapter 2

**DeathxTears**

Rating: T (For Cussing and Possible Character Death)

Killua: Oi! Dame-Baka-Author!

Xion: *groans from depressed place on desk*

Killua: Write before people come and burn your house down for not updating for _**TWO WEEKS**_

Xion: ;-; Gomen'nasai... *goes back to depression*

Gon: Please R&R

Killua: Oh and Dame-Baka-Xion does not own Hunter X Hunter. If she did, it would be more depressing than her writing habits.

"Speech"

'Thought'

**Review Responses:**

**Latias876: **Well No not yet. At the end of Chapter one, it said that Leorio heard a faint heart beat so... No he is not dead...Yet

**Guest****: **Thanks a ton for the review! I'm glad that you enjoyed my fan fiction. I loved how in depth you got.

**SpadePirates4Eva****: **Here's your update! And I'm glad you like it!

_*Gives all Reviewers a cookie*_

**DeathxTears**

"_Kurapika we're gonna need that phone call... NOW!" Leorio did every method he could until sirens were heard._

_Killua looked up at the ceiling tears already soaking his pillows and an occasional sob breaking his silence. He really didn't have peace but was lulled to sleep by the thought of all the scars and smiles. Meanwhile the sounds of sirens greeted his ears._

With Killua asleep, Leorio stayed home. His head was pounding and he was not fit to drive anywhere. The red lights were a bit traumatizing. Dark shadows were creeping near the edge of his hazy mind. This pit of fear in his stomach reminded him so much of the time he lost his best friend to disease. He keenly remembered just waiting for his friend to drop to the ground, never to stand up and smile again. But then again his thoughts led back to the broken look in Killua's eyes and the panic hidden deep within Kurapika's heart. They had been through these types of things before. A scream abruptly interrupted his thoughts. It was a heart wrenching scream that shook him to the core and cast a shadow of painful fear through his intoxicated heart. Leorio stood tripping on air on his way to the room. Another scream almost brought the man to tears.

"K-k-killua?" Leorio said behind the closed and locked door. He stuttered in fear of another screaming fit. There was silence before a quiet but demanding, hatful response was heard by the drunkard.

"_Leave me alone_!" Killua said with thick venom, making his voice as deadly as he was. "Just leave me alone! I'm Fine!" Leorio, not being the type to pry into people's feelings, let alone deal with them, left the broken white haired boy alone.

Killua's mind was hell within itself. Sorrow led to thoughts, thoughts led to memories, memories led to pain, and Killua did not favor the feeling of pain. He was so used to being in control of his emotions. Why did those Amber eyes have to be so kind, so innocent? Why did Killua let himself become so attached? He was delusional to believe that their friendship would last for at least eternity. He was also delusional to believe something more would come from this than friendship. Killua laughed humorlessly. The blue eyed boy's mind was stuck like a record. It constantly repeated the same denial. "He's not dead... He can't be gone. He wouldn't leave me alone like this... Right? Some friend he is..." his mind went on a rant without any consent of the person owning the said organ. Killua stood on shaky legs and collapsed on the cold bed next to his own. It smelled just like him. It smelled like a fresh clean forest and sweet cinnamon. It intoxicated his senses like a drug. This was torture. Killua curled up with his vice grip on the familiar green jacket, his hands leaving crimson stains on the garment. Restless sleep was hesitant to claim such a broken soul, but reluctantly did.

Morning did not bring any such thing as a fresh start. With it brought realization that Killua had wallowed in his self pity while his friend suffered the same, maybe- no probably more pain than he did. Killua stood on more stable legs walking over to the balcony. 20 degree winds bothered the ex-assassin none. Clouds moving fast promised one hell of a storm. Killua smirked emptily. His now dull blue eyes found humor in Mother Nature's wrath upon our horrible, bloody, sinful world. The white hair tousled in the wind when Killua stood on the railing. He laughed maniacally. Tears fell down six stories before hitting the unforgiving pavement below. Ice cold shard like rain whipped across his face as he looked up at the cloudy dark sky. "The world's a bitch..." Killua said with the first real emotion for a good period of time.

End of Chapter 2


	3. Chapter 3

DeathxTears

Rating: T (For Cussing and Possible Character Death)

Xion: -snarling glare- Killua God F****** Damnit don't you DARE get on me about the deadline!

Gon: Killua, what's wrong with Author-Chan?

Killua: I think it might be her certain time of the month...

Gon: She's a Werewolf?!

Killua: -facepalm- You're hopeless

Xion: Shuddup!

"Speech"

'Though'

***Disclaimer*** I do not own HunterxHunter but maybe Santa will give me it for Christmas... We can always hope. But for now I am not the legal owner of the show... _For now._

DeathxTears

_The white hair tousled in the wind when Killua stood on the railing. He laughed maniacally. Tears fell down six stories before hitting the unforgiving pavement below. Ice cold shard like rain whipped across his face as he looked up at the cloudy dark sky. "The world's a bitch..." Killua said with the first real emotion for a good period of time._

Killua was unsure that the drop would actually kill him. He didn't care about such trivial matters. All he wanted to do was fulfill the nagging feeling telling him to step forward. The blue eyed boy sucked in a ragged deep breath holding it in for a second. He closed his eyes, staring at the black darkness that lied behind his pale eyelids. The young boy savored those moments of blackness. Though times with his favorite amber eyed boy made him feel like he could be accepted by the everlasting light, he knew that his tainted heart belonged solely in the shadows.

"Please don't go, Killua..." a familiar voice shook Killua from his guilt trip on memory lane. The white haired boy was paralyzed in anticipation, not trusting his ears to the sound he was supposedly hearing. Only the feeling of warm wounded arms caused Killua to step down from the ledge. The ex-assassin's eyes blurred with tears. The shape in front of him was unclear in his foggy brain. The boy last remembers collapsing on his comforting bed holding onto a wounded shape.

The next time Killua awoke, he was empty armed. Kurapika had come home and was sitting on the couch with his hands folded on the couch. Leorio was passed out again in their shared bedroom. The blue eyed boy stumbled into the living room. Kurapika stood in surprise but slowly sat down as if something he was regretting weighed him down from even looking at the white haired boy.

"How are you feeling, Killua?" Kurapika asked from his reestablished position on the couch. The person in question eyed Kurapika suspiciously.

"Why do you ask?" Killua questioned. His voice cracked from overuse the night before. He plopped down next to the blond Kurta member on the couch.

"I came home and checked up on you. When I came into the room, the door to the balcony was open and you had a fever." The grey eyed boy said simply. Killua brought his knees up to his chest thinking of all the blurry shapes and distinct sting pain of last night. Seeing as the night was completely overrun by sickness, Killua didn't remember much.

"I'm fine..." Killua trailed off not knowing how to continue this already dead end conversation. An idea sparked inside the white haired boy's brain after a long awkward silence. His voice broke an eerie silence neither of them knew had fallen. "What did the hospital say about him?" He asked out of morbid curiosity. In reality Killua didn't want to hear anything about his best friend. He was too afraid of the worst outcome becoming a reality. Kurapika lifted his head to look at the boy straight in his eyes.

"The hospital made sure that he was still alive." Kurapika replied. The response was vague. It was too vague in Killua's personal opinion. The ex-assassin pressed Kurapika for more information.

"Tell me all that happened Baka-Kurta!" Killua was agitated at the stubbornness of his acquaintance. He had pressed him for information for about fifteen minutes now. Kurapika sat with his arms crossed across his chest. The blond boy sighed and stood.

"I'll tell you the news after I get my tea." As if on cue, the whistling of a tea kettle filled the kitchenette. Kurapika went to go silence the sound while killua pondered on the new almost information.

Patience was key in situations such as this. He just had to wait to find out what was wrong with his fluffy green haired friend. Though the existence of such a thing as patience was lingering. Kurapika came in about five minutes later carrying two cups of green tea. Killua held the cup in his hands with little interest in its contents.

"Now about his condition..." Kurapika said turning to look at the broken boy beside him. Who in turn looked from his cup to the pit of grey taking interest in the sight of the child. "He only has about a week to live...: Kurapika said quietly, almost to himself. Killua looked up at Kurapika apparently choking on air. He managed to squeak out a word through his tight throat.

"What?"

End of Chapter 3


	4. Chapter 4

**Xion: I'm back after... forever it seems.**

**Gon: I guess exams can be killers, right Author-chan!**

**Xion: -nods in agreement while cradling math notebook- I've never been so grateful I took notes in math class**

**Xion: Wait!**

**Gon: what?**

**Xion: Where's Killua?**

**Gon: -giggles- He's still unconscious from the beat down last chapter :D**

**Xion: what? You know what never mind..**

**Review Responses: **

**Princesspeachie99: **Who knows...it might happen... BUT, not yet...

**Rin: **-Te~he I feel really creepy cuz I know who you are :3-

But I will try my hardest to develop Killua and Gon more as characters. The others are kinda just...there.

**Guest 1****: **Thanks for being so faithful to the story 3 3. And thank you for the complements!

**Guest 2: **We don't know if he's going to die yet... you'll just have to wait and see. It might happen it might not. It depends where the plot bunny bites. And here is your continuation... sorry it took so long!

**DeathxTears **

"_Now about his condition..." Kurapika said turning to look at the broken boy beside him. Who in turn looked from his cup to the pit of grey taking interest in the sight of the child. "He only has about a week to live..." Kurapika said quietly, almost to himself. Killua looked up at Kurapika apparently choking on air. He managed to squeak out a word through his tight throat._

"_What?"_

Killua fell into another delusion. He didn't trust the Kurta's word. Tears brimmed his electric blue eyes at the thought of living without his hikari **(1)**. The cup in Killua's hands fell and shattered on the hard wood floor. It shook Killua out of the reverie of his friend. Finally feeling able to talk he looked to Kurapika who was busying himself cleaning up the tea and the cream colored porcelain shards of the tea cup.

"Can I go see him?" It was an innocent question but it brought much more relief to the older boy. He had worried that the wounded boy would die alone without the ex-assassin at his side. "I-I want to see him before he d-di-disappears."The pale boy could not bring himself to once again break his illusion on the situation.

Clothes were painfully changed to warmer, cleaner clothing. Umbrellas were stuffed into pale shaking hands and rain poured down on a grey umbrella. Killua stood at the entrance to the hospital. His hands shook as he asked for _his _room. As he was led to the cursed door by the head nurse, the white haired boy restrained tears. His gut was filled with something he hasn't felt for years. The name of such a feeling was on the tip of his tongue. The nurse smiled and gestured to the room numbered 13. The nurse turned and walked back the way they both had come. Killua swallowed, his dry throat making it painful to even breathe. Through a crack in the door, the white haired boy heard the cracked voice of his hikari.

"I-I didn't want them to know. I didn't think it would affect my battling skills..." Killua heard a sigh from the doctor sitting on the edge of the wounded boy's bed.

"It did effect you're ability to fight and your ability to fight the infections from your wounds. Half of them were already infected before you came here." The doctor looked at the boy with sadness in his eyes. "All those wounds are too vicious to be just accidents... What _really_ happened?" The boy went rigid. Another sigh came from the brown haired doctor. He stood and turned to the door.

"I guess you'll tell me when you're ready..." Hidden sobs were not missed by the ex-assassin. The door swung open barely missing Killua's face. The doctor masked the sad eyes. "Are you here to visit this patient?" the doctor asked suspiciously. Killua put up his guard but nodded his head regardless.

"He's a very good friend of mine." The doctor sighed. He seemed to have a habit out of doing that.

"Only family can visit him." The doctor looked at Killua who in turn glared at the doctor. He hadn't come all this way to be denied right in front of the door.

"How about now?" The blue eyed boy sneered. The doctor went pale and nodded stepping aside to let the boy enter.

"I swear kids these days..." the doctor murmured walking away from his almost death. He took out his phone and fiddled with it as he walked to his office.

Nails went back to normal size and Killua put his hand on the cold metal handle of the sterile hospital door. Sunlight filled the room and a certain boy faced away from his best friend. The feeling returned into the pit of the white haired boy's stomach. This time it returned with a name, Fear. He started to hyperventilate at the sight of the dying boy. Silence was a virtue that killua counted as a blessing. He was too regretful to get the boy's attention and actually talk to him.

'I feel it's my fault. I didn't protect you when you needed me most." Killua looked down at his shoes. The quiet shadow was brought out of his thought by a core shaking cough. Blood stained the sheet below the broken boy. Killua looked up in panic and ran to the other's side. A broken smile was given to the older boy.

"Killua, you came." Happiness was evident in the boy's hoarse voice, but so was pain. Killua engulfed the boy in a tight hug, valuing the feeling of warmth running through his nerves as his cradled the form in an embrace.

"Gon..." Killua cried into the boy's hospital gown. "I was so scared I had lost you before I could say goodbye."

End of Chapter 4

**Hikari: Means light in Japanese.**


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